I say Patricia, you say Jessica

Date: 03 July 2009
Time: 1033 hrs
Place: The salt mines

(sorf) Elderly delivery man asked my where Jessica Hee is and it turns out he can't pronounce Patricia Hee.

Fire station re-direction

Date: 02 July 2009
Time: 1343 hrs
Place: Outside the Fire Station, Coleman Street

I'm at the junction with Hill Street, about to cross the road, when an Indian man, with an oversized blue and grey checked shirt, linen pants and slippers, asked me how to get to Raffles Place. (Yes, 2nd Indian man within an hour!) I told him to walk down the street until North Canal Road and then to turn left and head down Boat Quay.

Tech hunter

Date: 02 July 2009
Time: 1333 hrs
Place: Junction of Bras Basah Road and Victoria Street

I'm just outside the SMU administration block, walking down, minding my own business, when an Indian guy wearing a red t-shirt and jeans, asked me where Sim Lim Square was, so I told him to walk down the road and turn left at the next junction and then turn right at the next. He had a piece of paper sticking out of his back pocket.

Taxi Driver - the blur version

Date: 01 July 2009
Time: 1700 hrs
Place: Near Tanjong Pagar MRT

Just as I'm getting out of the cab, a booking comes into the taxi's little computer. The cab driver asks me, "Where is Anson Place?" And I told him I had no idea and left.

Point to point

Date: 27 May 2009
Time: 2143 hrs
Place: 313 Somerset, traffic light

(both) We're in the middle of a conversation and looking across the road to what used to be Orchard Emerald (which is now a big hole since they tore it down), waiting to cross the road, when a man in a suit and lugging two laptops comes up to us from behind us and asked where Orchard Point was. I pointed down the road, told him to go to where the OG sign is, and he went on his way.

Indian Expatriate Part 2

Date: 20 May 2009
Time: 1757 hrs
Place: Junction of Bencoolen and Middle Road

(both) We had just crossed the junction when an Indian lady came up from behind us and asked us where the NTUC was. We told her that the one that used to be at IOI Plaza but it's gone and we told her she could go to Rochor which is a bit of a walk and we told her that she could get groceries at Bugis or PoMo's Cold Storage. When we said the selection is limited because it is for people who don't cook she laughed, and she walked off in the direction of Bugis.

Indian Expatriate Part 1

Date: 20 May 2009
Time: 1755 hrs
Place: Junction of Bencoolen and Middle Road

(both) We were at the traffic junction waiting to go over to IOI Plaza, and we were looking at a Chinese sign on a lamp-post, when an Indian man came up to us from behind and asked us with an American accent, "Where is Sim Lim Square?" and we pointed him down towards LaSalle. He's probably going to get ripped off...

No chicken

Date: 10 May 2009
Time: 1108 hrs
Place: Killiney Kopitiam at PoMo (previously Paradiz Shopping Centre)

(both) We're eating laksa at the Killiney Kopitiam when a fifty-something grey haired lady in blue jeans bermudas and a black striped top, wearing pearl earrings, asked us if the laksa was any good. We said it was ok and she asked what were the ingredients. So we started listing the fish cake, cockles, bean sprouts, etc. and then she asked "Got chicken?" and we said no. Subsequently, she didn't buy it.

BYO Blur

Date: 03 May 2009
Time: 1335 hrs
Place: By the pool

(both) We're sitting at the poolside and minding our own business, reading a book or working on cross-stitch, when we heard a voice saying "Excuse me!" and we looked up and saw and Indian man with slicked back hair and a guitar, wearing t-shirt and jeans and carrying a bottle of wine, and he asked us how to get to the eleventh floor. So we asked him which tower and he said the unit number is 11-21 and we told him go to Tower C by going back to the lift lobby area and heading to the comm panel on the left to call his friends.

Mmmm skyscraper

Date: 28 Apr 2009
Time: 1830 hrs
Place: Springleaf Towers

I was talking to a friend (and fellow snowboarder) who I happened to bump into outside his office when a guy in a red football shirt and a red bag came up to me and asked where "M Hotel" was. I pointed him down the street and he went off.

Bank in the City

Date: 19 Mar 2009
Time: 1900 hrs
Place: Junction outside Bugis near National Library

A tall, bald Indian man with a slight American accent, wearing a white shirt and black pants and two laptop bags asked me "Where's the Citibank?" I told him there was a small branch in the Bugis MRT. He said that was supposed to be the meeting location where he would meet someone and thought the branch was at street level, and walked off briskly.

M for marriage celebration

Date: 05 Dec 2008
Time: 1931 hrs
Place: Tanjong Pagar MRT

I'm just walking into the Tanjong Pagar MRT entrance when an old couple, nicely dressed, walked towards me and asked where M Hotel was. They were carrying what probably was a wedding dinner invitation card. I directed them down the road in roughly the right direction.

The Office

Date: 05 Dec 2008
Time: 0928 hrs
Place: Sunshine Plaza

(sorf) Just turned the corner in the Sunshine Plaza Mall and was heading towards the door to the bus stop when I saw this Indian dude in his 40s coming towards the door. He was in a full suit with laptop slung over one shoulder. I opened the door and he asked me where the Sunshine Plaza Office building entrance was. I directed him to the corner where the office lobby was.

Why did the rude man cross the road?

Date: 21 Nov 2008
Time: 1651 hrs
Place: Bus stop in front of Lucky Plaza

(sorf) I'm waiting at the bus stop in front of Lucky Plaza and some middle aged Chinese man asks me how to get to other side of the road. I told him to go to traffic lights at Paragon. He was with 2 other Chinese men. They must be Singaporean. Didn't even thank me.

Long distance shopping

Date: 19 Nov 2008
Time: 1630 hrs
Place: In front of Fortune Centre

(sorf) It was raining and a Japanese lady asked how to walk to Plaza Singapura. It would have been too difficult to explain the directions so taking a taxi or the bus was suggested, and she was directed to the nearest taxi stand, which is at Bayview Hotel.

The Raffles family quest

Date: 17 Nov 2008
Time: 1050 hrs
Place: North Bridge Road near Bugis

(sorf) I just got stopped again! Youngish 20-something European (Italian?) girl with corkscrew curls, t-shirt, skirt and slippers and elderly parents approached me on the North Bridge Road side of Bugis Junction to ask where Raffles Hotel is. Told her on left side of road 2 traffic stops down.

The quest for Bugis

Date: 17 Nov 2008
Time: 1016 hrs
Place: Traffic junction outside Bugis Junction

(sorf) I am waiting at the traffic junction and a stylish 30-something woman with dry brown blonde hair, wearing a black shirt and capris, and holding the hand of a little boy, asked me in Chinese, "xiao jie ching wen ni bugis zai na li?" I pointed diagonally across

We don't live here

Date: 06 Nov 2008
Time: 1946 hrs
Place: Zhongshan MRT station, Taipei

(both) We were walking through the station, just ambling along with the crowd, when we were singled out by a woman in black t-shirt, hair in ponytail, asking in a slight mainland accent where the "Zhanqian" was. We said we don't live here. She went on to ask other strangers.

Misdirected Passengers

Date: 06 Nov 2008
Time: 0700 hrs
Place: Changi Airport

(both) First, we were hanging out at the duty free cosmetics shop looking at SK-II. Beng had just walked a little out of the shop when this skinny long haired Chinese girl asked where the "yan3" was. I didn't understand what she meant. She then had to gesture with her hand smoking. We directed her back towards where the alcohol shops were. (Later, she was spotted reaching for a carton of Marlboro Menthol lights)

Then, as we were just outside the gate, Sorf was waiting and a young Chinese lady came up to her and said, "Nihao, ni shi tai wan ren ma?" And she said "no, bu shi." Later she was spotted cornering two other guys. Then, as she was at the water cooler, digging for her vitamins, a middle aged lady came up to her in a striped shirt and asked "Nu ren de zai na li?" and she pointed her in the direction of the ladies. Finally, as Beng came out to the water cooler, he had to gesture to the button to teach a Chinese girl how to get the water running.

Melanin halloween

Date: 31 Oct 2008
Time: 2230 hrs
Place: The Bencoolen / Outside Sim Lim Square

I had finished my job up to Little India and was walking back, plugged in to a podcast on my ipod shuffle, when an old man with a large face and grey hair came up to me and asked if I were local. I said yes, and he asked me where the South East Asia hotel was. It sounded really familiar and it took me a while to remember exactly where it was as it is quite a hole in the wall hotel. But I pointed in the general direction across the road towards OG and he said that that's where they came from and that the taxi driver had dropped him and his friends off there. So we waited for the light to change so we could cross the road, me and four old men with trolley suitcases with a Johore-type accent. Of course, they ignored the light once the traffic thinned out a bit, so we ended up dashing across the rather wide road. As I was walking them over to the hotel the man asked me why I was exercising so late (it's cooler) and he told me that actually sunlight was good for Asians as it broke down bad cholesterol and that skin cancer only affected fair skinned people. He then told me that he was here to do some selling for his Cellfood MLM business and he passed me his name card with some Brunei address. We reached the hotel with its large cheesy neon sign and I wished him good luck.