I ask you from behind you

Date: 27 Apr 2011
Time: 1942 hrs
Place: Dhoby Ghaut MRT (Circle Line)

(sorf) I'm standing in front of the map of the MRT stations when a thirtysomething Filipino woman in a short sleeved frilled blue top and carrying shopping bags came up behind me and said "Excuse me I'm going to Suntec which stop do I get off?" Told her Esplanade and pointed to the map. She said thank you.

The long and winding road... to the hospital

Date: 01 Apr 2011
Time: 2043 hrs
Place: Nassim Road

I had been on a jog and was along Nassim Road and was just about to hit Orchard Road again when a car pulled up to me and the man inside rolled down the windows and asked me where Gleneagles was. Initially I was confused as I thought he could just cut through Tanglin, before I remembered that that was a one-way road and it would be difficult to explain how to get to the Orchard Boulevard side, so I just told him to head back where I came from and turn left at the Botanical Gardens entrance. He thanked me. Hope he managed to get there quite quickly as he looked really quite lost on that dark road.

They all go to central

Date: 17 Feb 2011
Time: 1959 hrs
Place: Toa Payoh North

(sorf) Had just crossed the traffic light and was headed for the Braddell train station when a short auntie dressed in a black t-shirt and skinny pants and wearing round glasses and wedge sandals ran up behind me, pointed to the bus 232 in front of us and asked in Mandarin, "Can please tell me if this goes to central?" I said I don't know and she muttered to herself and I walked off to take the train.

To the Caucasian bridge!

Date: 02 Feb 2011
Time: 1846 hrs
Place: Dhoby Ghaut MRT station (NS line)

(sorf) I was standing in the train station talking to my dad and this woman in a red shirt and slightly walleyed came up form behind me to ask, in Chinese, "Go to Ang Mo Kio take which train?" I told her the correct train so now she's sitting next to my dad waiting for train.

Yes you can get there by foot

Date: 23 Dec 2010
Time: 2031 hrs
Place: Little India MRT Station exit

I am jogging with headphones plugged into my ears and obviously trying to move steadily when, just outside of the Little India MRT station exit, a skinny, young, Indian woman wearing a black dress and with blonde hair, smoking a cigarette, comes right up to me and asks where KK hospital is. I jog on the spot and point to the left telling her it's where you can see the blue lights (and the big sign) and then she asks whether she can walk from here. I told her yes and jogged off, and she still seemed unconvinced as I left.

Lost and found re-ward?

Date: 08 Dec 2010
Time: 1040hrs
Place: National University Hospital

I was on my way from the A&E building to the foodcourt when an auntie and uncle asked me in Chinese whether this is the main building. I looked at the signs and told them yes. Then I asked them where they were going and they said Ward 62 and I found a sign for a Wards 20 to 63 and pointed them that way.

The Chaser

Date: 08 Nov 2010
Time: 1907 hrs
Place: Dhoby Ghaut MRT

(sorf) Got asked or rather chased for directions. Was walking from NS line to the Plaza Singapura escalator and this petite middle aged auntie was chasing me from behind going xiao jie xiao jie. I didn't realize until she knocked on my bag and then on my arm that she was chasing me cos I was listening to my BBC podcast on headphones. She asked in Chinese how to go to Orchard so I told her have to take escalator to NS line. She didn't thank me.

No thanks

Date: 21 Oct 2010
Time: 1923 hrs
Place: Opposite Cathay

(sorf) Was standing at the traffic lights opposite Cathay and this girl with long hair and lots of kohl came up behind me and waved with her handphone to get my attention. I had to unplug my ear to hear her ask in accented voice how to get to Takashimaya. Told her to take the train and she said I cross the road I said no the train station is there, pointing behind her. And of course no "thank you".

Where has your CPF gone?

Date: 01 Oct 2010
Time: 1050 hrs
Place: Tanjong Pagar MRT

I was walking down some steps in the underpass near Tanjong Pagar MRT station when a man wearing a blue shirt and pants ambushed me and asked which way to go to get to the CPF building. He was speaking in Mandarin. I pointed him roughly in the right direction -- it's a little hard to orientate yourself underground -- and he went off on his way.

Good art, where art thou?

Date: 01 Sep 2010
Time: 1222 hrs
Place: Commonwealth Avenue carpark

Having had a nice lunch, I exploring the soon to be torn down flats with my friends when from out of nowhere a Korean lady, looking lost, walking with her son carrying paintings wrapped in plastic, came up to me and asked whether I knew where 39A Commonwealth Avenue #01-16 was. I looked around at the block number signs and spotted the 39A and pointed her in that direction.

Wood Lands!

Date: 12 Aug 2010
Time: 1006 hrs
Place: Bras Basah MRT station

A balding, white haired, fat Indian man in a light blue flowered shirt and jeans and sandals just got out of the train that was heading towards Dhoby Ghaut and just before the escalator came straight to me and asked me "b??????? WOODLANDS!" and I went "huh?" and he repeated himself and then I realised he wanted to know how to get to Woodlands. So I went to the signboard and showed him that he needed to get off at the next stop Dhoby Ghaut and change to the red line and he said "oh!" and thanked me and walked off back to the platform to wait for the next train.

Tak-e me to Tak-a

Date: 02 Aug 2010
Time: 1919 hrs
Place: ION orchard

Plugged in to my headphones, I'm at the Orchard MRT just walking into ION near the Swatch shop and Uniqlo, when an old man, carrying a lot of shopping bags, with grey, short hair, cubby, wearing a white t-shirt and shorts, comes up to me and asked me, excuse me where is the Takashimaya? I directed him through the MRT and he thanked me and walked off with his wife, also carrying a lot of shopping bags.

Teresa gets a package

Date: 26 Mar 2010
Time: 1651 hrs
Place: the salt mines

(sorf) A delivery guy zoomed in on me out of three people sitting in the area and asked "Where's Teresa Goh?" who is in a completely different part of the office. I pointed to him to the other side of the room and said it's over on the other side. At least he said thank you.

I missed the bus...

Date: 22 Mar 2010
Time: 1859 hrs
Place: Resorts World Sentosa

I'm walking about exploring the layout of Resorts World at Sentosa, looking for restaurants, when a short Indian lady with frizzy hair asked me where to take the bus. I told her I didn't know!

At the onsen info booth...

Date: 22 Feb 2010
Time: 1958 hrs (Tokyo time)
Place: Shinjuku station, Tokyo, Japan

(both) We're in Shinjuku station, near to Odakyu side, looking at a map of all the onsens, when from behind us a little old Japanese lady with perfectly styled hair, wearing a maroon jacket, asked us directions in Japanese. We said we are very sorry, we don't speak Japanese, and she said gommenasai and walked off. We're standing in front of a map and so wouldn't we look like we were lost too? And why did she come up to us from behind? Later she went to ask someone else for directions. We took a picture of her.

Walk this way?

Date: 12 Feb 2010
Time: 1811 hrs
Place: Selegie / Prinsep

(sorf) I was cutting across the big green field and this dude in his 40s who was standing on the other side picked up his bag and came towards me. "Little India this way?" he asked, pointing back at Sunshine Plaza. I told him straight down that way, pointing down at Selegie Road. And no "thank you" either.

Oh! Gee... thanks

Date: 20 Jan 2010
Time: 2022 hrs
Place: Orchard 313

(sorf) I'm waiting for a friend outside Forever 21 and this China girl wearing lots of makeup and a hairband with a pink crystal bow on it asked me in Chinese "Where is this?" and showed me an SMS in Chinese. I recognized "Orchard" in Chinese and OG so told her in my half baked Mandarin to go 3 blocks down on the other side of the road.

Next to 124?

Date: 8 Jan 2010
Time: 2203 hrs
Place: outside the salt mines

(sorf) I'm walking to the main road and plugged into my iPhone and this guy holding hands with his girlfriend waves his hand in front of my face and says "Excuse me where's block 125?" I said "Sorry but I've no idea!"

Bubble trouble

Date: 18 Dec 2009
Time: 1137 hrs
Place: salt mines


(sorf) I'm sitting at my cubicle clearing copy and some girl with long curly hair and wearing office wear came up to me to say, "Excuse me, how do we get out of here?" She was with a bespectacled dude carrying a laptop bag. I pointed her to the doors to the bubble lift.

It's where they store, um, cold?

Date: 22 Nov 2009
Time: 1945 hrs
Place: Selegie Road

(sorf) Just got asked for directions again! Was crossing Selegie Road and got to the MR Bean side where this skinny Chinese girl dressed in black tank top and jeans said, "Excuse me is there a Cold Storage around here?" I pointed at Pomo and said, "in that building in the basement." She said thank you and smiled. Had American accent. At least she was polite!

Go West

Date: 22 Nov 2009
Time: 1833 hrs
Place: Braddell MRT

(sorf) Got asked for directions coming down stairs at Braddell MRT to platform. This skinny girl in tight jeans and long hair threw out her arm to get my attention and asked "Is this the train to Bukit Batok?" I said that's in the West so you have to take this train to City Hall and change to East-West line. Silly girl didn't even thank me. Just looked blur and went to look at signboard and asked another woman then climbed back upstairs.

Card blanche

Date: 17 Nov 2009
Time: 1547 hrs
Place: the salt mines

(sorf) Was at my desk typing furiously when some woman came up from behind to ask where is Helen. I said she's not in today and she asked me to pass Helen a bag so I said just leave it on her desk, pointing to the desk. So the woman goes and 5 secs later she's back asking to borrow a stapler. I pass her one. She staples a name card to the bag and goes off then comes back again, to ask for Helen's name card! I told her "I don't have." Yeesh. Such a rude woman, not even a thank you after all that!

Fit for a queen

Date: 14 Nov 2009
Time: 1150 hrs
Place: Cold Storage, PoMo (ex-Paradiz Centre)

(sorf) We were queueing at the cashier counter when three clueless goth kids (two boys with tattoos and a very over-dressed and booty high-heeled tattooed girl) came in to the Cold Storage and were muttering between themselves and to a friend on the phone something about "coronation". Then the skinny boy went up to a Cold Storage staff and asked him whether the sad stalk of red flower he picked out was a "coronation" flower. We didn't catch what the staff said. Later they went back upstairs and the boy came down again, still on the phone, saying things like "it looks like a sunflower" and "red petals and black in the middle" and insisting that "it's a carnation" and Sorf couldn't take it any more and told him that it was a gerbera daisy. And he looked at her and asked "so do they have carnations?" and Sorf looked around and found a bag of very sad tiny orange carnations and both thought it was very sad. "Are there any carnations" and Sorf said "that's it" and then he asked "are they okay for a Goth photo shoot?" and Sorf looked at the roses and he insisted he did not want roses and so she told him "yes they are okay" and he went to pay. He told his friend on the phone that he went to ask a complete stranger for advice (though it was actually Sorf who initiated it because she was so annoyed by their lack of basic flower knowledge.)

A little bit of both

Date: 12 Nov 2009
Time: 2056 hrs
Place: Near Bugis MRT

(sorf) Walking toward Bugis and plugged into earphones, and at the traffic light 2 husky guys who looked a bit Caucasian and a bit Chinese walked over to me clutching a map and asked where Rochor Centre was. I looked around and pointed them towards the building, and they thanked me.

Looking for a signal

Date: 11 Nov 2009
Time: 1219 hrs
Place: Inside Sunshine Plaza

(sorf) At the Sunshine Plaza lobby near the wanton mee stall, and a girl dressed all in black with long hair walked over to me to ask where's the GSM Building. I said I didn't know.

Great Leap Lostwards

Date: 09 Sep 2009
Time: 1733 hrs
Place: the salt mines

(sorf) Some dude practically leaped over a cubicle divider as I was walking back to my desk to ask me directions to a colleague's cubicle.

Late break fast

Date: 07 Sep 2009
Time: 1858 hrs
Place: Dhoby Ghaut MRT exit

I was outside the MRT exit when an Indian man asked me for directions to the mosque. I walked him to the Bencoolen Street Mosque where he was going to break fast.

Shiny! Purple!

Date: 26 July 2009
Time: 1805 hrs
Place: Braddell MRT station

(sorf) Sitting on the bench waiting for the train and plugged into the iPod and reading, and this well groomed Ah Lian with short red hair, wearing makeup, striped shirt, denim shorts, and shiny purple stockings and white sneakers, sits down next to me and asks "小姐你的鞋很美 Xiao Jie Ni De Xie Hen Mei". I said thank you. She asked me where I got it. I told her I got it at Tangs.

Buddy can you spare a buck?

Date: 23 July 2009
Time: 0831 hrs
Place: Clementi MRT near the bus stop

An old Indian man with a white beard, very skinny and fidgeting, asked if I speak English. I was plugged into my iPod and it took me a few tries before I understood that he was asking me if I could lend him a dollar so that he could take a bus to Jurong East Interchange. I said he could walk but he said he was already late. Luckily my bus just arrived and so I told him I had to go.

Seventh Food Heaven

Date: 20 July 2009
Time: 1933 hrs
Place: Orchard Central

I was about to enter the lift at Orchard Central when this auntie in a black skirt and orange t-shirt, carrying an OG plastic bag, complained to me that the lift was very slow. I guessed that as the lift lobby is quite wide, she might not have realised when the lift doors opened as they are rather quiet, and so I showed her to the other end of the lift lobby just as the lift doors opened. Once inside, she started asking me as we were going up, whether there was a food court on the seventh floor and I said I wasn't sure but I think there are many restaurants there.

No union here

Date: 18 July 2009
Time: 1103 hrs
Place: Bugis Junction

I am in the Bugis Junction Basement, next to the escalator where JCo is, just standing there waiting, when a middle aged man, wearing a pink t-shirt, bermudas, and slippers, with slightly greying hair, carrying a huge bag and holding the hand of a hyperactive kid, asked me whether there was an NTUC here. I told him no, there isn't an NTUC here.

Waterloo! Couldn't escape if I wanted to!

Date: 13 July 2009
Time: 1000 hrs
Place: Bus stop on Bencoolen Street near NAFA

(sorf) An old man with a cane and wearing bermudas and his bus pass on a chain around his neck, asked me which bus goes to Waterloo Street. I told him that he could walk since it's just around the corner.

Salt mines really labyrinthine

Date: 09 July 2009
Time: 2035 hrs
Place: the salt mines

(sorf) Just got asked for directions at our lift lobby door. Indian Pizza Hut delivery guy wearing crash helmet asking "Is there another way to reach?" Told him to go around.

Popular Pat

Date: 03 July 2009
Time: 1646 hrs
Place: the salt mines

(sorf) Some blur block from help desk just asked me, "Excuse me I'm looking for Patricia Hee." So tempted to say "I'm not Pat!" but pointed him to her room.

I say Patricia, you say Jessica

Date: 03 July 2009
Time: 1033 hrs
Place: The salt mines

(sorf) Elderly delivery man asked my where Jessica Hee is and it turns out he can't pronounce Patricia Hee.

Fire station re-direction

Date: 02 July 2009
Time: 1343 hrs
Place: Outside the Fire Station, Coleman Street

I'm at the junction with Hill Street, about to cross the road, when an Indian man, with an oversized blue and grey checked shirt, linen pants and slippers, asked me how to get to Raffles Place. (Yes, 2nd Indian man within an hour!) I told him to walk down the street until North Canal Road and then to turn left and head down Boat Quay.

Tech hunter

Date: 02 July 2009
Time: 1333 hrs
Place: Junction of Bras Basah Road and Victoria Street

I'm just outside the SMU administration block, walking down, minding my own business, when an Indian guy wearing a red t-shirt and jeans, asked me where Sim Lim Square was, so I told him to walk down the road and turn left at the next junction and then turn right at the next. He had a piece of paper sticking out of his back pocket.

Taxi Driver - the blur version

Date: 01 July 2009
Time: 1700 hrs
Place: Near Tanjong Pagar MRT

Just as I'm getting out of the cab, a booking comes into the taxi's little computer. The cab driver asks me, "Where is Anson Place?" And I told him I had no idea and left.

Point to point

Date: 27 May 2009
Time: 2143 hrs
Place: 313 Somerset, traffic light

(both) We're in the middle of a conversation and looking across the road to what used to be Orchard Emerald (which is now a big hole since they tore it down), waiting to cross the road, when a man in a suit and lugging two laptops comes up to us from behind us and asked where Orchard Point was. I pointed down the road, told him to go to where the OG sign is, and he went on his way.

Indian Expatriate Part 2

Date: 20 May 2009
Time: 1757 hrs
Place: Junction of Bencoolen and Middle Road

(both) We had just crossed the junction when an Indian lady came up from behind us and asked us where the NTUC was. We told her that the one that used to be at IOI Plaza but it's gone and we told her she could go to Rochor which is a bit of a walk and we told her that she could get groceries at Bugis or PoMo's Cold Storage. When we said the selection is limited because it is for people who don't cook she laughed, and she walked off in the direction of Bugis.

Indian Expatriate Part 1

Date: 20 May 2009
Time: 1755 hrs
Place: Junction of Bencoolen and Middle Road

(both) We were at the traffic junction waiting to go over to IOI Plaza, and we were looking at a Chinese sign on a lamp-post, when an Indian man came up to us from behind and asked us with an American accent, "Where is Sim Lim Square?" and we pointed him down towards LaSalle. He's probably going to get ripped off...

No chicken

Date: 10 May 2009
Time: 1108 hrs
Place: Killiney Kopitiam at PoMo (previously Paradiz Shopping Centre)

(both) We're eating laksa at the Killiney Kopitiam when a fifty-something grey haired lady in blue jeans bermudas and a black striped top, wearing pearl earrings, asked us if the laksa was any good. We said it was ok and she asked what were the ingredients. So we started listing the fish cake, cockles, bean sprouts, etc. and then she asked "Got chicken?" and we said no. Subsequently, she didn't buy it.

BYO Blur

Date: 03 May 2009
Time: 1335 hrs
Place: By the pool

(both) We're sitting at the poolside and minding our own business, reading a book or working on cross-stitch, when we heard a voice saying "Excuse me!" and we looked up and saw and Indian man with slicked back hair and a guitar, wearing t-shirt and jeans and carrying a bottle of wine, and he asked us how to get to the eleventh floor. So we asked him which tower and he said the unit number is 11-21 and we told him go to Tower C by going back to the lift lobby area and heading to the comm panel on the left to call his friends.

Mmmm skyscraper

Date: 28 Apr 2009
Time: 1830 hrs
Place: Springleaf Towers

I was talking to a friend (and fellow snowboarder) who I happened to bump into outside his office when a guy in a red football shirt and a red bag came up to me and asked where "M Hotel" was. I pointed him down the street and he went off.

Bank in the City

Date: 19 Mar 2009
Time: 1900 hrs
Place: Junction outside Bugis near National Library

A tall, bald Indian man with a slight American accent, wearing a white shirt and black pants and two laptop bags asked me "Where's the Citibank?" I told him there was a small branch in the Bugis MRT. He said that was supposed to be the meeting location where he would meet someone and thought the branch was at street level, and walked off briskly.

M for marriage celebration

Date: 05 Dec 2008
Time: 1931 hrs
Place: Tanjong Pagar MRT

I'm just walking into the Tanjong Pagar MRT entrance when an old couple, nicely dressed, walked towards me and asked where M Hotel was. They were carrying what probably was a wedding dinner invitation card. I directed them down the road in roughly the right direction.

The Office

Date: 05 Dec 2008
Time: 0928 hrs
Place: Sunshine Plaza

(sorf) Just turned the corner in the Sunshine Plaza Mall and was heading towards the door to the bus stop when I saw this Indian dude in his 40s coming towards the door. He was in a full suit with laptop slung over one shoulder. I opened the door and he asked me where the Sunshine Plaza Office building entrance was. I directed him to the corner where the office lobby was.

Why did the rude man cross the road?

Date: 21 Nov 2008
Time: 1651 hrs
Place: Bus stop in front of Lucky Plaza

(sorf) I'm waiting at the bus stop in front of Lucky Plaza and some middle aged Chinese man asks me how to get to other side of the road. I told him to go to traffic lights at Paragon. He was with 2 other Chinese men. They must be Singaporean. Didn't even thank me.

Long distance shopping

Date: 19 Nov 2008
Time: 1630 hrs
Place: In front of Fortune Centre

(sorf) It was raining and a Japanese lady asked how to walk to Plaza Singapura. It would have been too difficult to explain the directions so taking a taxi or the bus was suggested, and she was directed to the nearest taxi stand, which is at Bayview Hotel.

The Raffles family quest

Date: 17 Nov 2008
Time: 1050 hrs
Place: North Bridge Road near Bugis

(sorf) I just got stopped again! Youngish 20-something European (Italian?) girl with corkscrew curls, t-shirt, skirt and slippers and elderly parents approached me on the North Bridge Road side of Bugis Junction to ask where Raffles Hotel is. Told her on left side of road 2 traffic stops down.

The quest for Bugis

Date: 17 Nov 2008
Time: 1016 hrs
Place: Traffic junction outside Bugis Junction

(sorf) I am waiting at the traffic junction and a stylish 30-something woman with dry brown blonde hair, wearing a black shirt and capris, and holding the hand of a little boy, asked me in Chinese, "xiao jie ching wen ni bugis zai na li?" I pointed diagonally across

We don't live here

Date: 06 Nov 2008
Time: 1946 hrs
Place: Zhongshan MRT station, Taipei

(both) We were walking through the station, just ambling along with the crowd, when we were singled out by a woman in black t-shirt, hair in ponytail, asking in a slight mainland accent where the "Zhanqian" was. We said we don't live here. She went on to ask other strangers.

Misdirected Passengers

Date: 06 Nov 2008
Time: 0700 hrs
Place: Changi Airport

(both) First, we were hanging out at the duty free cosmetics shop looking at SK-II. Beng had just walked a little out of the shop when this skinny long haired Chinese girl asked where the "yan3" was. I didn't understand what she meant. She then had to gesture with her hand smoking. We directed her back towards where the alcohol shops were. (Later, she was spotted reaching for a carton of Marlboro Menthol lights)

Then, as we were just outside the gate, Sorf was waiting and a young Chinese lady came up to her and said, "Nihao, ni shi tai wan ren ma?" And she said "no, bu shi." Later she was spotted cornering two other guys. Then, as she was at the water cooler, digging for her vitamins, a middle aged lady came up to her in a striped shirt and asked "Nu ren de zai na li?" and she pointed her in the direction of the ladies. Finally, as Beng came out to the water cooler, he had to gesture to the button to teach a Chinese girl how to get the water running.

Melanin halloween

Date: 31 Oct 2008
Time: 2230 hrs
Place: The Bencoolen / Outside Sim Lim Square

I had finished my job up to Little India and was walking back, plugged in to a podcast on my ipod shuffle, when an old man with a large face and grey hair came up to me and asked if I were local. I said yes, and he asked me where the South East Asia hotel was. It sounded really familiar and it took me a while to remember exactly where it was as it is quite a hole in the wall hotel. But I pointed in the general direction across the road towards OG and he said that that's where they came from and that the taxi driver had dropped him and his friends off there. So we waited for the light to change so we could cross the road, me and four old men with trolley suitcases with a Johore-type accent. Of course, they ignored the light once the traffic thinned out a bit, so we ended up dashing across the rather wide road. As I was walking them over to the hotel the man asked me why I was exercising so late (it's cooler) and he told me that actually sunlight was good for Asians as it broke down bad cholesterol and that skin cancer only affected fair skinned people. He then told me that he was here to do some selling for his Cellfood MLM business and he passed me his name card with some Brunei address. We reached the hotel with its large cheesy neon sign and I wished him good luck.

Lady in Black

Date: 25 Sep 2008
Time: 1930 hrs
Place: Outside SRT, Mohd Sultan

Still standing outside the SRT when a small Mercedes SUV pulls up and an old lady in an elegant black dress alights and asked me where the Gallery Hotel was so I walked with her down to the corner to try to point out the hotel to her but we couldn't see it from there so I told her which direction to go generally (the Mohd Sultan Road stretch) and she got back into her car and drove off with the driver.

'opelessly lost

Date: 25 Sep 2008
Time: 1926 hrs
Place: Outside SRT, Mohd Sultan

I'm waiting outside SRT and just basically looking across the road when an Indian guy in a red short sleeved shirt and jeans, quite tall, and asks me "Excuse me where is Arrys? Arry?" and I realise after a while that he was talking about "Harry's" and I didn't know where exactly it was so I pointed him down towards the canal where most of the restaurants were and send him on his way.

A family that walks together...

Date: 21 Sep 2008
Time: 1520 hrs
Place: Across the road from Paradiz Shopping Centre, Selegie Road

I'm trying to cross the road at the Mr Bean when to my left this Indian lady comes up to me and asks me "Which way to Little India?" and it turns out she was with her husband and her son (I can just imagine both the men refusing to ask for directions) and they were all in jeans and t-shirt (she was with her cap backwards). So I told her to walk all the way down Selegie Road, and that they should reach the start of Little India. She asked where there were restaurants with Indian food and I asked her if she preferred North Indian or South Indian food and I told her for South Indian she could go to the Apollo Banana Leaf restaurant.

It's a MUJI!

Date: 18 Sep 2008
Time: 2105 hrs
Place: Plaza Singapura Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe

(both) We're sitting having dinner after having watched a screening of "My Magic", when we start to notice these two girls at the nearby table gesticulating at us and talking quite excitedly, when we realise that they were discussing the portable bag hook that helps you hang your handbag over the table's edge that we were using. Finally one of them comes over to ask, in Mandarin, where we got it from and we told her we got it from Muji.

It's their money what

Date: 31 Aug 2008
Time: 1211 hrs
Place: Rochor NTUC

(both) This typical old uncle wearing white singlet and pants, white haired and bespectacled, was queueing up behind us at the NTUC. In front of us were these two Indian men. Out of the blue he mumbled something to us, something about it being very dangerous for those two Indian men to be carrying a thousand dollar note in cash. And then I said, in Hokkien, "it's their money what."

For a rainy day

Date: 24 Aug 2008
Time: 1405 hrs
Place: Middle Road

It's a rainy day and I'm just outside Prime Centre near the recycling bins when this 40ish guy in t-shirt and jeans walks up to me and says "Hello sir hello sir" and I didn't know what he meant, then he pointed at my paper bag which I was about to throw into the recycling and I gave it to him and he said thanks and walked off into the rain.

the dude of kent

Date: 02 Aug 2008
Time: 1323 hrs
Place: NUS

I was walking outside the Kent Ridge Guild Hall when a man in a blue car drove up to me to ask where the "Kent Ridge Hall" was. I told him I wasn't sure and he drove off.

Battery Auntie

Date: 12 Jul 2008
Time: 1105 hrs
Place: Just outside Carrefour Plaza Singapura

(both) We're outside Carrefour walking quite rapidly towards the taxi-stand and this hip auntie with loose spaghetti curls and make-up dashes up to us to intercept us and ask "Excuse me did you spend $25?" and apparently there is some offer for batteries if you spend above a certain amount. "Do you want to keep your receipt?" and we said yes.

Every mornin' shuttlin'

Date: 23 Jun 2008
Time: 1836 hrs
Place: Harbourfront

The Indian man who took the shuttle bus with me then asked me, "Can I take the same shuttle in the morning?" I told him, "Yes".

every day I'm shuttlin'

Date: 23 Jun 2008
Time: 1815 hrs
Place: Science Park II

I was plugged into my iPod minding my own business when an Indian guy with curly hair wearing a white shirt came up to me and asked "Where does the shuttle go? Can I take the bus?" I told him it went to Harbourfront.

The quay to the puzzle

Date: 02 Jun 2008
Time: 1504 hrs
Place: Near AIA building, Shenton Way

I was walking quite briskly with some friends towards Lau Pa Sat when along comes this rag-tag family, middle-aged mom and dad and teenage boy, quite dressed down and looking out of place downtown. The father was clutching a small piece of paper with the address "One Raffles Quay" and he asked me where it was. (I suspect that the wife probably got tired of walking around randomly and nudged him to ask for directions.) I told him that he should go down the nearest MRT entrance and walk around there as there were pretty obvious signs showing the way, and for good measure I waved in the general direction and set them on their way.

No. I've seen you before.

Date: 28 May 2008
Time: 0936 hrs
Place: Bayview Hotel

I had just crossed the street when this white-haired lady, in singlet and shorts, approaches me from behind and shouts at me, saying "Hello! Can give me one dollar!" I said no, I've seen you before, and she just walked away.

Shuttle bus vamoose

Date: 18 May 2008
Time: 1900 hrs
Place: Grand Copthorne

I was asked by an Indian lady in a blue sari. I was walking quite far from her, about 5 meters away, and she called me over, and she had a piece of paper with the hotel shuttle time table which she couldn't quite read (perhaps she was long-sighted?) I told her the next shuttle would be twenty minutes later at 1915.

I'm still not Rachel!

Date: 15 May 2008
Time: 1528 hrs
Place: The Factory

(sorf) And another skinny Chinese dude in glasses asking for directions to Kam Hoe's desk in Chinese. Argh

I'm not Rachel!

Date: 15 May 2008
Time: 1111 hrs
Place: The Factory

(sorf) And again some bearded guy leaned on the counter to interrupt me typing madly and said "I'm looking for Rachel." I'm so tempted to say "I'm not Rachel and what the heck do I care?!"

Human signboard

Date: 12 May 2008
Time: 1210 hrs
Place: The Factory

(sorf) Ok i'm typing, looking madly busy, and some middle aged woman comes up to me and asks, "hi can you help me I'm looking for Sumiko". !

Delivery in progress...

Date: 6 May 2008
Time: 1712 hrs
Place: The Factory

(sorf) Some middle aged delivery man with gap tooth just swanned up and went "'scuse where's Asiah?" I said over there waving a hand and he never even say thank you!

Walking into a trap

Date: 04 May 2008
Time: 1243 hrs
Place: Bugis Junction junction

(both) We're standing at the traffic light, debating the architectural merits of the old Nafa building / church, waiting for the light to change, when from behind (it's always from behind!) this Caucasian woman, from a pack of 7 or 8 fat middle-aged tourists, all looking very sunburnt, asking "Excuse me where's Bugis Street?" So we pointed her in the direction and we then asked them why they wanted to go there. She said she wanted to get lunch. We then counter-suggested eating at the Bugis Junction basement where it's cooler and there are more choices for food. We might have helped them avert a tourist trap. Unfortunately, as we left, we saw them walking in the direction towards the Bugis Street traffic light.

Time to get a watch!

Date: 03 May 2008
Time: 1450 hrs
Place: Cathay

I was walking outside Cathay from Carrefour carrying rice and a bottle of Ribena, obviously plugged in to my iPod. She was walking on my right, probably a tourist. wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, grey sweater around her waist, and camouflage slippers, carrying some books in an "IXIZ" shopping bag and a big black handbag, probably Indonesian, thirty something. She asked me what time it was. I told her it's 2.50 and she said thank you and we went on to walk in the same direction for a while.

Resultant confusion

Date: 01 May 2008
Time: 1420 hrs
Place: The Factory

I was on my way out of the building at the lobby when this forty-something year old auntie asked me where the Straits Times was and started going on about how she had a meeting about the PSLE results. I told her to head for the lift but also confessed that I did not work there and so she walked off to bother some other person.

Lifted

Date: 22 Apr 2008
Time: 2037 hrs
Place: Across the road from St. Regis

I'm standing at the bus stop when an Indian man in blue overalls approaches me from behind and asks where the Hilton is. I told him to go down the road and turn left. I then noticed that his overalls had the word "Otis" on them. I suppose he was repairing the elevators at the Hilton and got lost? He walked off to his white scooter that was parked just a few meters behind me at the side of the road and rode off.

Lost in sakura mania

Date: 30 Mar 08
Time: 1128 hrs (Tokyo time)
Place: Ueno Park, Tokyo

(both) We are standing in front of a map in Ueno Park and it's the first Sunday since the cherry blossoms have opened and so the park is packed with locals and tourists. We're trying to figure out how to get to a restaurant specialising in eel for lunch. From behind us, an Indian man asks us, "How do you get to the water?" and pointed to the map where the small lake was. So we told him to follow the main path where the cherry blossoms were and at the end of the road would be the lake.

Singapore Slinging

Date: 03 Mar 2008
Time: 1508 hrs
Place: Raffles Place MRT

(sorf) Stuck in the rain at Raffles Place and a chubby, short, blonde American woman tourist asked me where Raffles Hotel was. I told her she should have gone to the City Hall stop instead.

Cookie cutter answer

Date: 01 Mar 2008
Time: 1502 hrs
Place: Isetan Scotts

(both) We'd just purchased Le Creuset pots and were wandering about looking at kitchen gadgets when we saw a little flower shaped vegetable cutter when an Indian lady behind us in a pink sari asks "oh you use this to cut cookies right?" and we said, no, you use this to cut vegetables and make canapes.

Prepositioned

Date: 20 Feb 2008
Time: 2135 hrs
Place: National Library (corner of Victoria Street and Middle Road)

(both) It took him a while to get the sentence right because he was rearranging the prepositions. "Excusemesir, excusemesir, which is the way we are getting to... which is the way to get to... to walk... how do we get to Mustafa?" So we told him walk down three junctions, turn right at Selegie and walk up Serangoon Road, at which point he recognised "oh! Serangoon Road" and went on his way.

He was an Indian dude, quite young, quite chubby, approaching us from behind. He was with a friend in a white t-shirt and jeans.

Just a hunch...

Date: 30 Jan 2008
Time: 1533 hrs
Place: The Factory

(sorf) A slender woman with a ponytail accosted me in front of my cubicle to ask where Hun Ching was sitting. I turned around and pointed behind me and said "She's right here!"

The elusive Dhoby

Date: 29 Jan 2008
Time: 2251 hrs
Place: Outside National Museum Singapore

(sorf) A 20-something year old guy in a black t-shirt and pants interrupted me as I was sms-ing and crossing the road in front of the museum. He asked me in Chinese, "Excuse me, where's Dhoby Ghaut station?"

Top up

Date: 20 Jan 2008
Time: 1724 hrs
Place: Shop'n'Save (Boon Keng)

(sorf) A little old lady in a red shirt came up to me in Shop'n'Save to ask me how much groceries I'm buying because she wants to top up to $15 and get the sticker.

Post haste

Date: 20 Jan 2008
Time: 1415 hrs
Place: Junction of Victoria Street and Bras Basah Road

(sorf) Middle aged chinese guy in blue bermudas and checked blue shirt stopped me at the junction to ask where the Bras Basah Post Office is.

Stereoscopic spectacular

Date: 19 Jan 2008
Time: 1313 hrs
Place: Funan Center

(both) We are sitting at the Funan Center taxi stand opposite the fire station, waiting to pass a newly-bought laser printer to our friend who was going to drive over. A nice slender lady wearing a tudung, colourful blouse and jeans, who had been sitting there with us for a while, asked us whether Sim Lim Square was bigger than Funan. I think she's from Dubai - she's got an interesting accent. We told her yes, there are more shops there, but that to be careful because they tend to try to rip tourists off there. Then she shared that she had been asking at the Funan shops one by one, looking for stereoscopic 3d glasses, that her friend said he bought 6 months ago while he was working a stint here. She asked us what time the shops at Sim Lim close and we told her they close about 7 or 8.

North and South

Date: 10 Jan 2008
Time: 1833 hrs
Place: Braddell MRT Station

(sorf) Some middle aged guy with a bowl hair cut wearing a lime green t-shirt and grey shorts accosted me at the MRT door at Braddell saying "Excuse me this go to Toa Payoh?"

The threads that bind us

Date: 20 Dec 2007
Time: 1532 hrs
Place: Plaza Singapura Spotlight

(sorf) Got asked about thread at the DMC counter by a woman with a Chinese accent.

The long and short of it

Date: 16 Dec 2007
Time: 1027 hrs
Place: Downstairs from the block

(both) We're downstairs at the carpark walking in when this auntie with a red flowery shirt and red lipstick and henna-ed hair, asking, "xiao jie, where's the market?" and pointing one way then another. In fact, both routes would have worked, but we set her off in the direction that was shorter.

It's on the map

Date: 04 Dec 2007
Time: 1014 hrs
Place: Bus stop at corner of Bencoolen and Bras Basah

I'm sitting and reading my book at the bus stop waiting for the bus when a bunch of Korean tourists (two ladies and a little girl) ran up to me and asked me where Dhoby Ghaut MRT was. I told them to walk down the road and follow the curve and the MRT entrance was there. The interesting thing was that she had written "Dhoby Ghaut MRT" on her tourist map. Not that it helped her find the place...

Water tight

Date: 30 Oct 2007
Time: 1758 hrs
Place: Raffles Place MRT

I'm at the 7-11 store inside Raffles Place MRT when a lady holding a file and a red handbag, wearing red top and jeans, asked me to help her open a bottle of mineral water. It was quite tight. I had to use my handkerchief for grip.

From the golden shoe or the bay?

Date: 11 Oct 2007
Time: 1634 hrs
Place: Esplanade bus stop

(sorf) Small teenaged girl in pink tank top and jeans asked me whether bus 162 comes to the bus stop and if it's from Shenton Way or Marina. I was plugged into the iPod and there were tons of other people around.

Citiblanket

Date: 10 Oct 2007
Time: 1455 hrs
Place: near Isetan Scotts

(sorf) Got stopped by a Citibank promoter. They're everywhere!

Live office directory

Date: 9 Oct 2007
Time: 1400 hrs
Place: The office

(sorf) Two girls asked me where two of my colleagues sit.

Auntie hunts for bargain

Date: 29 Sep 2007
Time: 1229 hrs
Place: BHG at Bugis

(both) We were near the escalators at BHG when an auntie wearing a brown t-shirt asking "Miss, do you know where they sell the eating utensils?" and we told her that it was outside the departmental store because they moved (which is why she couldn't find it walking around).

The time for politeness is now!

Date: 20 Jul 2007
Time: 1803 hrs
Place: Harbourfront MRT Station entrance

I was just about to enter the cavernous stairwell that leads down to the Harbourfront MRT station when a 20-something Malay man, dressed in a red cap, brown t-shirt, jeans and slippers, and staring out of the window towards at the cars passing by on the road, approached me and asked me very politely, "Excuse me sir, what is the time?"

As if to reinforce the point of his lack of timekeeping equipment, he showed me a very bare forearm. I looked at my watch very deliberately and said "6.03" and he said "Thank you", and turned around and continued to look at the road, waiting.

Try the hor fun for fun...

Date: 2 Aug 2007
Time: 1244 hrs
Place: The Factory's canteen

(sorf) In the queue at the canteen and an auntie behind me asks what's good to eat so I said the fish slices hor fun.

You mean those spikes ain't the GPS antenna?

Date: 2 Aug 2007
Time: 1200 hrs
Place: The Factory

(sorf) At my desk and plugged in to my iPod and some guy with spiky gelled hair comes up from behind to ask where Sandra sits.

Bamboo shmamboo

Date: 29 July 2007
Time: 1920 hrs
Place: Carrefour, Plaza Singapura

(sorf) I'm taking a pack of herbs off the rack and a 40-something guy in a polo t-shirt and shorts asked me what it was. Had to say I don't know but it's something my mom uses in herbal chicken soup. Think it's bamboo...

Government within walking distance

Date: 19 July 2007
Time: 1523 hrs
Place: Suntec City bus stop

(sorf) A very well dressed lady with big sunglasses, big hair and paisley shawl asked me at the Suntec City bus stop if bus 36 goes to City Hall. I said I wasn't sure and that you could walk to City Hall. She said she's changing buses.

Follow the 'O'

Date: 17 July 2007
Time: 2019 hrs
Place: Banquet food court, Selegie

(sorf) We had just come home from up north with a load of donuts for our donut-crazed friend. One of the students from the next table at the food court came over to ask where we got the Dunkin' Donuts from. The really should bring it back!

No wonder our cabbies are always nowhere to be found

Date: 17 July 2007
Time: 0932 hrs
Place: Bencoolen Street

Say you are a visitor from another country. You don't know the roads. So you do the smart thing -- you get a card from the hotel with a map so that you can show this to the cab driver and he can bring you to the right place. Isn't this the minimum you could expect?

A taxi pulled up to me (I was waving trying to get one myself), and there was a very confused looking auntie sitting behind with her daughter. She had said card with said map and still the driver asked me where the hotel Strand was. How useless can a cabbie be?

I told him that he was on the wrong street and that Victoria Street was the next one over.